We've Got Your Bunnies
by Come Lady Death
Summary: Kaylee smuggles a pet on-board. She gets help keeping that fact from the Captain from an unexpected source. Written for whedonland's Storyteller challenge.


Zoe knocked lightly on Kaylee's brightly painted door and called down to the occupant. "Kaylee? You got a minute?"

"Just a minute!" The engineer's voice sounded higher than normal and Zoe could hear rustling and thumping around behind the door. The first mate frowned. Was she hiding Simon in there?

The door swung open and Kaylee smiled up at her. "Oh. Hi, Zoe. Come on in."

Zoe climbed down into Kaylee's room and pushed the door closed again. Kaylee sat down on her hammock and asked, "What can I do for you?"

Zoe frowned. The normally bubbly younger girl looked a little... too bubbly. Too eager to please, almost nervous. Zoe's soldier's eyes started flitting around the room. She had to be hiding something. But where in this little room could you hide someone like Simon? Presuming it was him, of course. Maybe under the hem of that giant frilly dress of Kaylee's...

Keeping up her covert surveillance, the first mate went on with her business. "I came to ask you about a grocery list. Mal wants everybody except the drop team to stay ship-side when we get to Osiris, so I'm gonna need a list of parts we can't live without."

"Captain knows we could do with a lot."

"He said just the essentials this time, Kay."

"Okay, okay." Kaylee tilted her head to the side and thought. "We really need a new compression coil, and-"

Then Zoe heard it. _Thump_. _Thump. _Sure enough, it was coming from the direction of Kaylee's shindig dress.

Kaylee had to have heard it, but she ignored the noise. If anything, she talked louder to cover it. "Stabilizers, we can't" _thump thump_ "do without those for much longer or" _thump thump_ "we'll have a few rough landings in our future." _Thump. Thump._ Kaylee giggled; a little too much to be believable.

Zoe cocked her head in the direction of the thumping noise. "Kaylee, what is that?"

"What's what?" _Thump thump._ "Nothing!"

"Kaylee..." Zoe warned, going over to the frilly dress and tugging on the hem. "If there's a man under here in any state of undress, I'll-" The tall woman jerked back the skirt and peered into the dark under the dress.

_Thump. Thump._

"Oh...my..."

A small brown rabbit with floppy ears thumped out of his hiding place and headed straight for Kaylee. The girl gathered it up into her arms and hugged it tightly. The rabbit made a tiny squeak of protest. Zoe couldn't believe it. Of all things she'd thought of, a bunny was the last thing she'd expected to find Kaylee hiding.

"Please don't tell the captain," Kaylee begged. Her eyes were huge and shiny with wetness. Zoe recognized that look: Wash tried to use it on her a lot. It never worked. But Kaylee seemed to be sincere. "He'll make me get rid of it, or he'll make Jayne kill it. I won't let him take Snuffles, Zoe, I won't!"

Zoe sat down slowly on the hammock beside Kaylee. "Kaylee... Where in the 'verse did you come by a rabbit?"

Kaylee sniffled a little and let the bunny down onto the floor to hop around. "I traded for him on Beaumonde. I knew the cap'n has always said no pets and everything, but I stopped to look and his little eyes just..." She petted Snuffles with her foot and the rabbit leaned into the caress. "I smuggled him home in the fan belt box."

Zoe sighed. A girl and her animals. It was a universal constant. She knew: she'd owned horses she would have done anything for. Mal's rules were very clear, though: no pets onboard ship. Wisely, no one mentioned Mal's own penchant for picking up strays of the two-legged sort. According to him, an animal was one more unnecessary mouth that needed feeding. Zoe saw his point there; they were low enough on food as it was. As first mate and best friend, it was her duty to alert him to Snuffles' presence.

But...

The rabbit looked up at her and twitched its nose in a deviously cute manner. Zoe reached out and carefully stroked him between the ears. He was soft. And he was pleasant to look at and she'd bet anything he didn't eat more than- Zoe stopped herself from rationalizing things too far, but she already knew she was going to let Kaylee keep him.

Kaylee knew it too, if her grin was anything to judge by. Zoe sighed again and stood up. "Keep it out of sight," she warned the girl sternly. "If Mal finds out, I had nothing to do with this. Nothing, you hear?" Kaylee nodded and put her finger to her lips conspiritorially.

* * *

Mal threw up his hands. "Kaylee! I'm going down to see what's keeping that _gorram_ girl..." He stalked out of the cockpit and headed for the engine room.

Zoe waited until he was out of earshot, then picked up her radio. "Captain's hopping down the bunny trail. Hide your ears."

"_Roger, ears down. Thanks, Zoe."_

Zoe clicked off the radio with a satisfied smile. She turned around to find Wash staring at her. "What does that even mean? What ears is she hiding?" His gaze suddenly turned suspicious. "Is she hiding Simon down there?"

Zoe rolled her eyes at her husband. "It's nothing, dear. Absolutely nothing."


End file.
